Household Heroes

There's a pair of new, moderately 'Super' Heroes on the scene. The picturesque village of Belgooly is mostly unaware of what talents are nestling in their midst but one certain house in one certain estate has certainly been reaping the rewards of the attention Domestic Mike and love interest Lawn Mowing Miss Macca have been bestowing upon it. This relatively unassuming semi-detached house has been transformed into a post-modern wonder-home since DM (Domestic Mike, not to be confused with Danger Mouse) and LMMM moved into the area.

Domestic Mike with sidekicks Emulsional Eimear & Mary Magnolia

Raised in the home counties of England, M (as he was known in those days) was brought up in a DIY disaster zone, floorboards were nailed to water pipes, dripping taps were solved by the turning off of the water supply, bayonet light bulbs forced into screw thread light fixtures (never publicly admitted but 20% sure this one happened). Unaware of M's potential, the Clouseau-like Patriarch put him to work in this ramshackle environment and set him the menial task of scraping wallpaper off the walls and worse still, the ceiling.

Frustrated at the time with this lack of household responsibility M was nevertheless the good worker and scraped those walls until his hands bled, or until Grange Hill started on telly, whichever came first. But after leaving home and wandering a few years in the DIY wilderness M finally landed in Ireland and after a few years took the final step that would see him later emerging into the Domestic Mike Superhero we now know him as. In partnership with love interest, Lawn Mowing Miss Macca, he purchased the aforementioned house in South Cork and the underlying household improvement potential in him finally surfaced and really started to wow people.

Hercules would have struggled with the tasks Ikea set but DM soldiers on admirably

The nightmares of wallpaper scraping were still bubbling under the surface but the joy of painting walls rose unexpectedly from the depths within his soul. Along with love interest LMMM and aided by long term sidekicks, Emulsional Eimear and Mary Magnolia, the lounge was freshened up with a lick of paint. So satisfied with the results the next target was the transforming of the previous occupants monkey room into the more sophisticated fuchsia room.

Monkey Room becomes.....

.....Fuschia Room!

  

The ball was really rolling now and the Master bedroom was the next area to be spruced up. Full of confidence DM & LMMM took on the task with gusto, painting walls, wardrobe doors and skirting boards like a zooming whirlwind of paint brushes, masking tape and rollers, all the while egged on by an authentically paint splattered radio.

DM & LMMM can turn cold blue.....

...... into warm and earthy green

It was at this point that DM was ready to take on the childhood demons of his past and launch himself back into wallpapering. Dipping his toes into this maelstrom of past emotions DM became reinvigorated and with the considerable help of LMMM the mission was a major success, the wallpaper was all hung straight, the patterns matched and any mistakes were covered up by the bed, never to be seen by anyone.

Again, cold blue but after a bit of magic......

......success! Wall papering demons pasted into oblivion.

Throughout this DIY odyssey the pair were busy developing their skills in other areas. Driven by the resulting hunger produced by painting and decorating, new recipes and meals have been mastered in the kitchen and any visitors to the house are likely to be treated to delicious stews, roast dinners and aided by the generous gift of a Kenwood Chef to the arsenal of kitchen appliances, crumbles, cakes and all sorts of baking goodies.

Where DM's delicous chocolate chip cookies would have been had they not been so amazing that DM & LMMM ate them all.

Fuelled by full stomachs our pair of heroes have ventured into the garden but the Wembley Stadium groundskeepers will not be trembling in their wellies just yet at the mixed results of their attempts to put stripes into the lawn. At some point the Flymo Mower will have to be upgraded into the kind of grass cutter Batman would be mowing his lawn with but for the moment they will make do.

It is this spirit of adventure that will surely see them  past any major obstacles (super fast growing grass, dripping taps and a thermostat in the shower that trips more than a crack cocaine addict) and continuing to make their domestic life an unadulterated triumph.