Identity crisis

"A fresh take on the old formula," says Jeffrey Lyons from previously unheard of Lyons Den Radio.

"Takes the traditional body-switching movie, ties it up tightly and throws it off a cliff," claims the official website.


This blog has recently had its eyebrow arched by these grandiose quotes referring to newly released movie The Change Up, which are of course inflated nonsense to promote the latest below average comedy to be churned out by the Hollywood machine. But what seems to be slipping under the radar and seemingly has done for the past few decades or so, is the stealthy emergence of a whole new genre of film, the 'body switching' plot.

Since when did one go out on a Friday night to watch a good 'body switcher' or settle in at home with your microwave popcorn to watch the latest classic role reversal film? But a brief trawl of the net finds that the stable holds plenty of films like Big, Freaky Friday, 13 Going on 30, Vice Versa, Face Off and, according to Wikipedia, about 30 others that most likely all claim to freshen up the exact same concept that they and all the others are using.

This blog did not see this coming, not helped by the local Kinsale dvd rental shop, which arranges the films on its shelves by the colour of the boxes. This usually works surprisingly well as it seems 90% of rom-coms shroud their video cases in pink, whereas a good deal of thrillers and horrors are a more sinister black or blood red. Curiously indie films tend to pick yellow covers and there is probably a whole dissertation's worth of material to investigate this but we are veering from the point.

We all know the plot to these films, two people miraculously change bodies, usually facilitated by a lightning strike/gypsy curse/fairground slot machine/ancient artifact (delete as appropriate) and to skip a few steps discover what it's like to walk in another man's shoes, literally, for a while and after a few hilarious episodes everyone learns something. So to carry on this idea of rehashing the same old crap this blog offers the following plot lines for Hollywood executives to mull over.....

1) The Dud Factor. Simon Cowell is electrified by the microphone in the latest X-Factor USA series and changes into the body of a hopeless geriatric who thinks she's popped in to the shops for milk but finds herself on stage singing a Mary Poppins tune. Obviously she is ridiculed and publicly humiliated for being rubbish but the spirit of the geriatric finds a new lease of life having taken over Simon Cowell's body. The happy ending comes when the roles are not reversed and Simon Cowell is lost to us forever.

2) And & Dec & Dec & Ant. The Geordie presenting duo eat a poisoned croissant and swap bodies, discovering what it's like to be a little bit taller/smaller and how it feels to present a show standing on the other side of each other. This is a short film as nothing much else happens and apart from the height issue, the two are indistinguishable anyway.

3) Coalition Damage. Nick Clegg ticks the wrong box in the ballot box and is turned into an everyday voter, discovering in the process why the public all laugh at him. The everyday voter who turns into Nick Clegg doesn't learn anything.

4) Gaza Trip. A bit political this one but Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netenyahu swap bodies after peace talks get physical and a bout of fisticuffs leads to their spirits swapping vessels. Not a comedy in the classic sense but several mishaps arise, especially after Abbas really gets into his new role as Israeli PM, finds rocket in his salad and orders in 500 tanks to blow the infidels to smithereens, forgetting that the infidels are actually his own people.